Republicans pick some guy to be Speaker of the House

Plus: SBF takes the stand, Indonesia's political fam and more. [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, an obedient Speaker who supports Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - Mike Johnson is in the [hot seat](. - SBF’s [testimony]( will be a treat. - Joko Widodo’s [family]( is elite. - Hong Kong [babies]( deplete. The Speaker Fiasco Is Over … For Now Before last night, the only Mike Johnson I knew was a [contestant]( on season 15 of The Bachelorette. But now I know two, and the other one is second in line to the presidency after he [successfully won]( a floor vote for the Speaker of the House position. Everyone is rather [shocked]( by the development, but no one more so than Johnson himself, judging by his facial expressions: Photos via Getty Images; captions by Jessica Karl And I’m not the only one who didn’t have a clue who this Mike dude was before today. Francis Wilkinson [says]( “the chaos of October has brought the House GOP back to where it began: Some guy is once again Speaker of the House.” But does it even matter? “No one, least of all Republicans, thinks that the GOP is capable of legislating,” he writes. Johnson — a low-profile congressman from Louisiana — has been [credited]( with being the legal mastermind behind Jan. 6 election-deniers. Is he really the right person to keep the government open and fund whatever the White House and Senate work out? Probably not, considering he’s the most [principled conservative]( speaker the modern House has ever seen: “What ultimately matters is that Trump has an obedient Speaker who supported Trump’s [attempted coup]( after he lost the 2020 election by seven million votes. Johnson, or his replacement if Johnson doesn’t last, must be poised to perform a similar duty if Trump fails again in 2024,” Francis argues. “Anyone unwilling to overthrow the republic and keep Trump out of jail is a MAGA enemy. They must be purged.” SBF’s Gonna SBF The other big news of the day is that Sam Bankman-Fried [will take the stand]( in his own trial, which isn’t all that surprising if you’ve been reading what Matt Levine has [long said]( about the FTX founder’s overly verbose persona. I, for one, just wonder if this means that we’re finally going to get some outside-the-courthouse pictures of him. How he has gotten into the courtroom without paparazzi photos thus far, I do not know. Maybe he’s having a [janitor]( secretly cart him around to avoid the cameras à la Taylor Swift? Except ... instead of hiding from a stadium full of screaming fans, he’s avoiding the limelight as a jury debates whether he will spend the next 110 years in prison. As it stands, a bunch of Sam’s former colleagues have testified they committed a bunch of crimes because he told them to do it, and many of them brought [receipts]( — including the “[strikingly crime-y]( computer code” — as proof. The jury knows the story is no good, very bad. So even if SBF spent hours and hours picking through his ex-girlfriend’s claims with a fine-tooth comb, it’s not going to be enough to sway his peers in the courtroom, Matt [writes](. Instead, Sam’s best bet is his [competing story]( where all of FTX’s money went *poof!* into the night after a combination of unexpected crypto market moves and innocent accounting mistakes. “Is this as good a story as the prosecution’s story?” Matt asks. “No! Is it his only chance of winning? Obviously!” Let's just hope he can deliver his defense [with his Adderall](. Pancake Politics Nepotism is alive and well in Indonesia!!! President Joko Widodo’s [son]( has been chosen as Defense Minister Prabowo Subianto’s running mate in next year's presidential election. In seemingly no time at all, 36-year-old Gibran Rakabuming Raka went from being a [salesman]( of martabak (a sweet or [savory]( pancake popular in Indonesia) to a fully-fledged politician. He’s clearly following in his father’s footsteps, first by winning the mayoral election in his hometown city of Solo, and now campaigning for the vice presidential spot. Normally, you might dismiss the ambitions of an eldest child like Gibran as a one-off. That is, until you realize that all the men in Joko Widodo’s family seem to have suddenly landed a governmental gig. His youngest son, 28-year-old Kaesang Pangarep, is “better known for his Youtuber appeal than his political experience,” Karishma Vaswani [writes](, but that didn’t stop him from [becoming]( the chief of the Indonesia Solidarity Party (PSI) last month. Then there’s son-in-law Bobby Nasution, who was [voted in]( as mayor of Medan in 2020. The family tree is giving [Hailey Bieber](, and not in a good way: “This is deeply disappointing for the nation’s nascent democracy, the world’s third largest, and [many]( Indonesians had hoped it wouldn’t happen,” Karishma says. The sad part is that Jokowi didn’t used to be this way. When Karishma first met him more than a decade ago, she was struck by his earnestness. He was an outsider, keen to disrupt the political establishment from the inside-out. “But that optimism and enthusiasm were pushed aside for the practicalities of doing politics in Indonesia,” she writes. Voting for his son as vice president “will ensure that Jokowi will be able to continue having behind-the-scenes influence during the Prabowo administration,” Alexander Arifianto, senior fellow at the Institute for Defence and Strategic Studies in Singapore, told Karishma. “Political dynasties in Indonesia are not unusual, but not particularly effective.” Perhaps he should stick to selling pancakes. Read [the whole thing](. Telltale Charts If I paid you $2,556, would you have a baby? Hong Kong officials are hoping you say yes to that question. For the next three years, the government will hand out HK$20,000 — the price for a dim sum banquet on the classy side, [according to]( Shuli Ren — for every newborn of permanent residents. But is that enough to raise the worst-in-the-world fertility rate? Doubtful: “Work stress, a thrilling night life, and tight living quarters are sapping the human desire to procreate. People in the city are no longer in the mood for sex or children. On average, couples have sex only [3.1 times each month](, down from 4.3 times in 2012,” Shuli writes. It’s going to take more than a bucket of dim sum money to reverse the trend. While we’re asking questions, [here’s one]( from Gearoid Reidy: “Would you trust an 80-year-old driver with your life on some of the developed world’s most complex streets?” It’s a hell no for me. But if I wanted to catch a cab in Tokyo, I might not have a choice — if a new plan to raise the age limit for taxi drivers gets approved. “Taxis, already dependent on older workers, are particularly hamstrung. The number of drivers in Japan has fallen 20% since 2019. In fact, many are already over 75 years old; the government limit applies only to privately owned vehicles, with cab companies free to set their own retirement ages,” he writes. Further Reading America is on the [brink of disaster]( with its federal deficit spending. — Bloomberg’s editorial board When Category 5 hurricanes are [popping up]( out of nowhere, you know it’s getting bad. — Mark Gongloff Biden’s political skills are helping him [expertly navigate]( the Israel-Hamas crisis. — Jonathan Bernstein The Tories [are collapsing]( faster than anyone in the UK expected. — Adrian Wooldridge The Israel-Hamas war is testing the left's views on [cancel culture](. — Noah Feldman Gucci is [struggling to keep up]( with Hermes and cashmere-maker Brunello Cucinelli. — Andrea Felsted Many Evangelicals believe the bloodshed in the Middle East is part of [a prophecy](. — Stephen Mihm ICYMI Trump broke the gag order [again](. Clarence Thomas [failed]( to repay his RV loan. Alphabet stock [fell]( the most since 2020. Women get [to vote]( at a Vatican meeting. LIV Golf and the PGA aren’t on [the same page](. Kickers An [ancient river valley]( lies under an ice sheet. Matthew McConaughey’s tequila is … [pants](? Planet Fitness’s former CEO had [an office keg](. This millionaire CEO is a [two-year-old](. Area poison specialist [poisons]( his wife. Hot (Dog) Take Pimento cheese and chili crisp?? Calories be damned. Photo: Jessica Karl In a horrible coincidence, I went to the place that sells New York’s infamous [$29 hot dog]( for lunch today … the same day that we published a piece titled, “[Drop That Hot Dog If You Value Your Health](.” I felt rather sinful while eating it, but it was, admittedly, amazing. The dog and the bun and the lil’ bowl of chili were all top-notch, but it was the side dish of five carefully curated condiments that stole the show. You can try it at [Mischa]( for yourself if you’re in Manhattan. Or, if overpriced wieners are not your thing, you can [read]( Lisa Jarvis’s column! Unlike the hot dog, it’s free and there’s zero chance of you getting type 2 diabetes from it. Notes: Please send condiments and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads](, [TikTok](, [Twitter](, [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. Follow Us Like getting this newsletter? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com]( for unlimited access to trusted, data-driven journalism and subscriber-only insights. Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. Find out more about how the Terminal delivers information and analysis that financial professionals can’t find anywhere else. [Learn more](. Want to sponsor this newsletter? [Get in touch here](. You received this message because you are subscribed to Bloomberg's Opinion Today newsletter. If a friend forwarded you this message, [sign up here]( to get it in your inbox. [Unsubscribe]( [Bloomberg.com]( [Contact Us]( Bloomberg L.P. 731 Lexington Avenue, New York, NY 10022 [Ads Powered By Liveintent]( [Ad Choices](