The US is readying its out-of-office autoreply

Plus: Menendez drama, child care cliffs and more. [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, an envelope marked with the fingerprints of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - Government [shutdowns]( are rather dumb. - “[Acts of God](” aren’t a good rule of thumb. - The [Menendez drama]( makes me feel numb. - We’re treating [child care]( like it’s pond scum. Shut It Down Illustration: Jessica Karl Close your eyes and think about the last time you took more than a week off. Whatever you did — traveled to Europe, had a baby, went to the beach, maybe just read a book — your work life went on without you, as evidenced by the [yottabyte]( of email awaiting you on your return. So maybe you, like me, have fantasized about everyone in the office all taking off at the same time. Just imagine: A vacation with no urgent emails. No frantic phone calls from your boss. No “absolutely no worries if not!!” Slack messages from your co-workers. Sounds nice — until it isn’t: The [Monday]( you get back to work is pure chaos. The printer has run out of ink. The milk in the office fridge is rank. Your clients are [demanding]( their money back. HR says there’s a backlog of new hires. The sunburnt CEO calls an all-hands and announces that never again will everyone be allowed to go on vacation at the same time. If you’re a government official, maybe this sounds familiar. After all, it’s pretty much what happens when Congress can’t meet its budgetary deadlines. “Washington folks are yet again expending time and energy on an attempt to avert a [government shutdown](. And Americans are taking notice, if Google Trends is any guide,” Isabelle Lee [writes](. Normally, shutdowns happen because Republicans and Democrats can’t agree on budget priorities. But this time is different: “A group of House Republicans is committed to opposing even a temporary extension of existing funding, demanding steep spending cuts and a series of unrelated concessions — new border-security measures, reduced military aid to Ukraine, an end to ‘the Left’s cancerous woke policies in the Pentagon’ — that stand no chance of passing the Democratic Senate. Unless House Speaker Kevin McCarthy can deliver a viable deal, funding will expire at midnight on Sept. 30,” Bloomberg’s editorial board [writes](. Such charades are extremely harmful, the editors write. According to [reports](, the government shutdowns in 2014, 2018 and 2019 cost taxpayers almost $4 billion, including at least $3.7 billion in back pay to furloughed workers and about $338 million in administrative work, lost revenue and late fees on interest payments. In that same time period, the US [lost]( 56,938 years (!!!) of federal worker productivity. The National Park Service alone [lost]( $7 million in 2014 because it didn’t have staff to collect fees and issue permits. “This year’s version could prove [costlier]( still,” the editors explain. “Each week of a shutdown would cut 0.2 percentage point from quarterly GDP.” [John Fetterman]( — the Pennsylvania senator who prefers hoodies to dress shirts — has [offered to put on a suit]( if Republicans back away from the brink, as Bobby Ghosh [writes](. A more substantial solution might be a deal on asylum, Matthew Yglesias [argues](. The GOP has been [pushing]( to change asylum rules as part of its immigration package — which is folded into McCarthy’s government funding demands. “On asylum, few Democrats I’ve spoken to express deep-seated opposition,” Matthew writes. If both sides were willing to discuss a way to address the problem, they could avoid the shutdown entirely. As for the odds of that happening, they’re probably lower than the chance of a company-wide vacation. But a girl can dream! Things That Need a Rebrand In no particular order, here are five things that are in desperate need of a [makeover](, [à la]( Mia Thermopolis in Princess Diaries. - Acts of God: OK, why are we still blaming natural disasters on God? I know the phrase “Act of God” is baked into almost every single insurance policy on this [precious planet](, but the Man Upstairs isn’t acting up, folks!! We humans [are](! Even if God wanted to drop [150 millimeters worth of tears]( over Libya, that doesn’t explain why two huge dams collapsed, “unleashing a tsunami-size torrent on top of Derna.” Lara Williams [says]( scientists found that Libya’s floods were “up to 50 times more likely” because of [fossil-fuel emissions](, not some “natural miracle” outside of human control. - Pro Wrestling: The industry of professional fighting is making [an attempt]( to appeal to women outside the ring. “Last week, [UFC and WWE merged]( to form a [multibillion-dollar]( sports-entertainment heavyweight: TKO,” Adam Minter writes. While WWE has made sure to ditch the “diva” title and the frou-frou [butterfly belt](, there’s still plenty of things it needs to contend with. For starters, WWE’s [current executive chairman](, Vince McMahon, has been accused of [sexual misconduct](. And the current CEO of UFC “has been [famously ambivalent]( about women fighting in the UFC, and earlier this year he was [filmed hitting his wife](,” Adam explains. Plus, there’s also a laundry list of [accusations]( about the UFC underpaying and exploiting its athletes. Until the pro-wrestling world grapples with all that, [NARPs]( like myself won’t be tuning in to watch someone named [“Dirty” Dom]( take on [Dragon Lee](. - New Jersey: Haha OK, I kid: The whole state is not in need of a rebrand. But its senior senator is looking rough. Bob Menendez — a “below-average senator” in Francis Wilkinson’s [estimation]( — is facing his second [round of charges]( of public corruption. “If 10% of the allegations in the indictment are true, Menendez is both a crook and a dunce,” Francis writes. Nobody wants a senator who stuffs $480,000 in cash in his sock drawer! It’s not cute. And neither are the [gold bars](. Or the [Mercedes](. Or the envelopes marked with the fingerprints of a dude who prosecutors say bribed Menendez. Menendez [declared today]( that he’s not going anywhere, but Democrats need to ditch him ASAP, Francis says — or else they’ll be in need of a rebrand as well. - Japan: Lots of people thought Japan was a lost cause, economically speaking, because it’s [full of old people](. But “[Japanification](” is not necessarily a bad thing! In fact, the patron saint of “[secular stagnation](” is now *leading* developed economies in many areas, including life expectancy, per capita growth and stock market returns. Even though the Land of the Rising Sun experienced its [largest population]( decline last year, it had the most significant per capita increase in GDP between 2013 and 2022 in local currency terms. Matthew Winkler [says]( “the Japanese penchant for[ living longer and prospering]( to an extent widely unanticipated at the end of the last century is turning out to be a lesson in managing wealth creation for the rest of the demographically-challenged G-7 and a bonanza for some of the savviest [investors](.” When Olivia Rodrigo and Noah Smith both [say]( Tokyo is [the new Paris](, you know the phenomenon is real. - British Tabloids: Asking whether Rupert Murdoch — or Logan Roy, for that matter — made a positive impact on society at large kinda feels like a trick question. But Adrian Wooldridge is braver than I. While Murdoch’s success in “ushering in a golden age of print journalism” may qualify him as “a great man,” he also promoted “a culture of sexual exploitation which led The Sun to crown Russell Brand as its shagger of the year three years in a row,” Adrian [writes](. Given Mr. Brand’s recent [rape allegations]( — which Matthew Brooker delves into [here]( — that’s probably not the legacy a “great man” wants to have. Telltale Charts In case you were wanting to worry about yet another looming deadline on Sept. 30, Sarah Green Carmichael [reminds us]( that pandemic-era subsidies [propping up US child-care providers]( expire on Saturday, too. “About three million children could lose their spots, leading some to call this a ‘[child care cliff](.’ Women’s participation in the labor force, which is at an all-time high, may fall right off with it,” she writes. This is why we can’t have nice things. Karl Smith [notes that]( the current president is encouraging voters to ask who has been more successful at [bringing manufacturing jobs back to America](, him or his predecessor — and in this case Joe Biden has the clear edge over Donald Trump. A fairer comparison, says Karl, might be between Bidenomics and Maganomics. “Unfortunately for the former president, economic analysis still comes out against him,” Karl writes. “The broad tariffs envisioned by Trump simply don’t provide the same bang for the buck as Biden’s targeted incentives.” Further Reading It’s still [too soon]( for workers to pop the champagne. — Stephen Mihm Gucci’s [new era]( is off to a promising start. — Andrea Felsted India’s [harsh response]( to Canada should serve as a wake-up call. — Mihir Sharma Bill Ackman is doubling down on [a bond short]( that’s full of flaws. — Jonathan Levin Do high-frequency traders deserve low-frequency [radio waves](? — Aaron Brown US support for Ukraine is [starting to waver](. Is Europe next? — Niall Ferguson Peak [fossil-fuel consumption]( will be a celebration, but we’re not there yet. — Javier Blas ICYMI You can now [talk to]( ChatGPT. The NYPD has a new [colleague](. Trump didn’t end up [buying a gun](. MTG got [confused]( about Yom Kippur. Kickers [Cabbage]( is sexy now, sorry. The [McBrunch Burger]( is available only at 10:35 a.m. Stop [embarrassing]( your baby on TikTok. Taylor Swift takes [a sudden interest]( in football. Brainless box jellyfish can [learn stuff](. Kevin James [memes]( are taking over. ([Hi](!) Notes: Please send McBrunch Burgers and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads](, [TikTok](, [Twitter](, [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. Follow Us Like getting this newsletter? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com]( for unlimited access to trusted, data-driven journalism and subscriber-only insights. Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. Find out more about how the Terminal delivers information and analysis that financial professionals can’t find anywhere else. [Learn more](. Want to sponsor this newsletter? [Get in touch here](. 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