Swiping right on the Republican presidential debate

What if all the GOP candidates had dating profiles? [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, an early and disappointing washout of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - GOP [hopefuls]( try to make a splash. - A private jet in Russia had a [crash](. - [Threads mania]( ended in a flash. - South Africa has a [solar power]( stash. Swiping Right Apparently job-hunting has gotten so bleak that some people are [turning to dating apps]( to find suitable careers. Strange, I know, but it got me thinking about another bleak process: presidential-hunting. There’s no denying that party primary debates — the Republicans’ first one takes place this evening — are capital-B Boring, hence all the [drinking]( [games]( that promise to make it slightly less so. But what if we skipped all that and looked at a candidate’s dating app profile instead? Granted, most of the GOP contenders are married — the last place they would be is on Hinge. Still, it’s a useful (or at least fun!) thought experiment: What if we envisioned “dating” the candidates, sans romance? Which one will dare to pose with [a fish](? Who has the cringiest pickup lines? This, my friends, is what I imagine some of the profiles might look like. First up, we’ve got Vivek Ramaswamy, an Ohio native who can bench press [30 interviews]( in one day. He’s checking a lot of the standard boxes, as far as candidates go. He’s got a photo with [a baby]( — his own, in fact. He went to Iowa’s state fair and stood in front of a massive [John Deere tractor]( (non-negotiable). And he has a catchy slogan: “Stabilize the Dollar!” Sadly, that’s where he falls flat, Tyler Cowen writes, noting that his “[rise in the polls]( should come with greater scrutiny of his [views on economics](.” While calling attention to the Fed’s mistakes is worthwhile, “the complicated truth is that many different kinds of errors fed into the US’s higher inflation rate,” Tyler writes. Having the electorate swipe right on someone who doesn’t understand the dollar may prove to be dangerous. Next up, we have Chris Christie. In addition to enjoying long walks on [empty beaches](, the New Jersey native’s favorite hobby is [Trump-bashing]( — a high-risk sport that has many Republicans on edge. It’s [unclear]( “whether Chris Christie really thinks he can be president despite some of the worst poll numbers in presidential nomination history, or if he’s simply out for revenge against the former president,” Jonathan Bernstein [writes](. But that doesn’t mean he’s not worth a listen. Republicans have been in a toxic relationship for years, and maybe his campaign can be a much-needed wake-up call. Moving on, we have the [West Elm Caleb]( of presidential candidates: Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. Everyone’s heard of him. He’s the talk of the town, or at least the [special tax district]( that encompasses [Disney World](. He tells you he’s a big reader, but the titles on his bookshelf seem [to be mysteriously shrinking](. He has weirdly specific [opinions]( about bathrooms. And the number of times “woke” is listed on his profile is [a bit much](. But DeSantis is still popular-ish with voters, pending the debate tonight: “If he has a good night, Republicans will remember that he’s still [second behind Trump](,” Jonathan [writes](. But if things go badly, “it’s possible his campaign will be over, an early and disappointing washout.” Lastly, we have Donald Trump. It’s always a little [unsettling]( seeing your ex back on the apps — you’d imagine there’d be some sort of rule that prevents it from happening, but [alas](. Ever since you broke up in 2020, he’s been haunting your nightmares. Plus, there are [the lawsuits]( — one of the reasons you parted ways in the first place. Despite all that, the ex-president is somehow still the front-runner, by a lot. And in true character, he’s [ghosting]( you on the first date, opting to hang out with Tucker Carlson [instead](. Even after all the turbulent, albeit memorable, years you spent together, it’s still hard to imagine what would happen if he walked back into your life — and into the White House — in 2025. “If he does, he’ll feel unshackled from even the few fetters that restrained him in his first term, and will try to bring all branches of federal government [under his personal control](,” Andreas Kluth [argues](. But every relationship, even the most fraught, has its cheerleaders. Those rooting for Trump just so happen to be populists, strongmen, autocrats and [hip hop artists]( — the type of people Andreas and Treva B. Lindsey say he befriends, admires and emulates. “The Republican Party is at a crossroads — not over its policies, but over its identity. One route continues down the path of Trumpism,” and “the other route leads back to the principles enshrined in the party’s first nominating convention, in 1856,” Bloomberg’s editorial board [says](. As Republican voters attempt to land a suitable presidential partner, they’d be wise to look for candidates who sit firmly in the second camp, as far as humanly possibly away from their ex. Bonus MAGA Reading: Republican-led [efforts to curtail]( the teaching of Black history in schools reflect a desire to whitewash the nation’s history. — Francis Wilkinson A Plane Crash in Russia In late-breaking news: “Putin’s chef,” Yevgeny Prigozhin, was reportedly aboard [a private jet]( that crashed north of Moscow today, killing all 10 aboard: “I don’t know for a fact what happened but I’m not surprised,” President Joe Biden [told]( reporters. Bloomberg News [notes]( that “the crash occurred exactly two months after Prigozhin led a [mutiny]( that posed the greatest threat to President Vladimir Putin’s nearly quarter-century rule,” a rebellion that the Russian president declared to be treasonous. How did it come to this? In January, Leonid Bershidsky [wrote]( that Prigozhin’s “position as a non-state actor” was “shakier than that of other invasion stalwarts. Like a hamster in a blood-smeared wheel, he has to keep running just to stay in place.” As the war dragged on, Prigozhin [became]( [bolder](, openly questioning Putin’s military strategy on Telegram. Eventually, as Andreas Kluth [wrote]( in early June, the question became whether Putin saw Prigozhin and his operation as “damaged goods” that could be easily replaced. That unease culminated in the [mutiny]( led by Wagner mercenary troops, an escapade that Leonid [noted at the time was]( a “clear sign that Russia is not winning in Ukraine.” Now, pending confirmation that he was actually on board, Prigozhin’s bloodied hamster wheel may be permanently still. Struggling to Sew Threads Yikety yike yike yikessss: What on earth happened to Threads? It went from being a social media darling, accruing [30 million signups]( within 24 hours of its release, only to free-fall into [oblivion](, not to be seen or talked about in the following weeks. Is it about to join the app graveyard that holds the corpses of[ Clubhouse](, [YikYak]( and [Ello](? Or is there still hope that Mark Zuckerberg and Adam Mosseri can turn their so-called “Twitter killer” around? [This chart]( from Dave Lee gives me little faith in that miracle happening: Since its inception, the number of active users of Threads has dropped by 60% to 70% in recent days. While that’s a damning statistic on its own, it’s compounded by the fact that users are only spending 2.5 minutes on Threads every day, which is nothing compared to time spent on Twitter and Instagram: Some power users are eager for an upgrade that Meta says it is rolling out this week: a desktop version. Sadly, Dave believes it “will do little in its current form to reignite” Threads users. “The interface could kindly be described as minimalist,” writes Dave, who has been trying it out, adding that “barren would be another word for it.” While the arrival of the new feature is still welcome, it doesn’t bode well for Meta’s already long to-do list: “There is no search function at all, and no trending topics, to give us a sense of what’s happening at the global watercooler. (If we can even call it that: Meta hasn’t yet launched the app in much of Europe, citing regulatory concerns.),” Dave writes. It’s too soon to delete Threads from your phone, but don’t be surprised if you see people ditch it in the not-so-distant future. Read [the whole thing](. Telltale Charts The one welcome consequence of South Africa’s rolling blackouts is the [$2.5 billion worth of solar equipment]( that has been purchased during the first half of this year, David Fickling writes. The progress on renewables stands in stark contrast to the two unfinished coal power stations that have cost the nation [300 billion rand ($15.8 billion)]( and are knee-deep in a sea of [corruption]( and mismanagement. It may feel twisted to admit it, but the collapse of the country’s state-owned utility, Eskom, wasn’t for nothing: David says it inadvertently “opened the floodgates to [a new wave]( of household solar.” In case you haven’t noticed, China’s economy is basically on the brink of collapse. It has all the classic ingredients for a financial meltdown, Shuli Ren [notes](: A real estate developer that’s slipping into [default](, a private wealth manager that’s been [missing payments]( to investors and a financial sector that owns 94 trillion yuan ($12.9 trillion) of local government [debt](. “China’s tendency to kick the can down the road only hampers its banking system and its economic recovery. In fact, one may even argue that China needs a Lehman-like scare to cleanse the toxic debt that has been building up for way too long,” she writes. Further Reading A disturbing [new orca incident]( (psst — this is a free read!) is an escalation we don’t need. — Howard Chua-Eoan Can Oxford and Cambridge somehow [save]( Harvard from ChatGPT? — Adrian Wooldridge The dark side of [Mexico’s push]( to improve the lives of the poor. — Eduardo Porter If you are a confident hedge fund manager, why wouldn’t you try and buy [your rival]( for cheap? — Matt Levine Macy’s [turnaround plan]( is working, even if there’s not much evidence. — Leticia Miranda Investors may come to regret [punishing this]( Japanese robot maker. — Tim Culpan Buying a house has always been tough, but in [the climate-crisis era](, it’s even worse. — Lara Williams The next time you're looking for a parking spot, think of [Parkingeye](. — Matthew Brooker ICYMI Rudy Giuliani [surrendered](. Nvidia’s [outlook]( looks rosy, thanks to AI. A New Orleans priest [admitted]( wrongdoing. [Fyre Festival II]( is already sold out. The streaming wars are entering [a new phase](. American schools have a [bus driver shortage](. Kickers Your [cocktail garnish]( is contributing to climate change. In Kansas, it’s so hot you can cook [cornbread]( outside. Ugh, they actually made [the hot dog straw](. DiGiorno is doing [something gross]( with its pizza. This [french-fry boomtown]( is winning. Notes: Please send sidewalk cornbread and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads](, [TikTok](, [Twitter](, [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. Follow Us You received this message because you are subscribed to Bloomberg's Opinion Today newsletter. If a friend forwarded you this message, [sign up here]( to get it in your inbox. [Unsubscribe]( [Bloomberg.com]( [Contact Us]( Bloomberg L.P. 731 Lexington Avenue, New York, NY 10022 [Ads Powered By Liveintent]( [Ad Choices](