‘Recession? What recession?’ say luxury shoppers

Plus: The BOE's horror show. [Bloomberg]( Follow Us [Get the newsletter]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, a recession-survival handbook of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - [Luxury goods]( are unbothered by the economy. - The [BOE is not helping](. - [Legs and pricey headsets]( do not a metaverse make. - [Israel’s shekel]( is the world champion. Get in, loser, we’re going shopping. Source: YouTube The Rich Continue to Be Different Everybody’s freaking out about a recession these days, but there are three very simple steps for surviving an economic downturn: - Be wealthy. - Have lots of money. - Don’t be poor. I should write a book and sell this valuable information, but I’m giving it away to you instead, dear reader. Probably why I can’t get past Step 1. My system is foolproof, and the evidence is everywhere you look. Sprawling luxury conglomerate LVMH Moet Hennessy Louis Vuitton Pizza Hut Nintendo SE reported quarterly earnings yesterday in the middle of a global inflation panic and market bloodbath. But Andrea Felsted notes its customers were all like “What? [Market bloodbath? Whatever are you prattling on about](? Manservant, fetch me another handbag,” with their pinkies raised. It did help that the euro, like other foreign currencies, has been whittled down to a squeaking little gerbil against the bloated US dollar. This had Americans traveling to fancy places to buy fancy things at slightly less-fancy prices. And a lot of us, including the wealth-challenged, still may be in denial about the state of the economy. Or maybe we just really, really need snacks? Andrea notes in a second column that brand-name purveyors of our precious salt and sugar fixes keep having [no trouble passing higher prices on to consumers](. A recession could change all of this behavior. In that event, generic brands and sprawling conglomerates such as LVMH Moet Et Cetera Et Cetera would be the big winners (see “surviving an economic downturn, three very simple steps for” above). Mistakes Continue to Be Made: Central Banking Edition The way the Bank of England has treated the UK bond market lately has been like a parent soothing a terrified child to sleep, then putting on a zombie mask and leaping out of the closet at them. Two weeks ago the BOE heroically parachuted in to buy gilts and protect pension funds from a Liz Truss-induced meltdown. That calmed things, mostly, until yesterday, when the BOE’s Andrew Bailey pressed a big EVERYBODY PANIC AGAIN button by telling traders they had just three days to get their act together before BOE support disappeared. John Authers counts it among [the worst central-bank head-slappers of all time](, right up there with Christine Lagarde saying “I don’t care about bond spreads, do you?” and Ben Bernanke doing an entire press conference in an exaggerated Italian accent. “I raise-a the rates!” The trouble is that breakneck moves in UK bonds risk taking out not only pension funds but also other kinds of funds, triggering selloffs in other once-safe realms. As Marcus Ashworth points out, the [BOE would really like to get back to fighting inflation]( rather than running MMT for Truss’s government. Maybe this will discipline the market, much as terrifying your children toughens them up. Or it could just lead to years of therapy. Bonus Central-Bank-Mistake Reading:  By jacking up rates, the [Fed makes it harder to finance both fracking]( and renewables, making energy inflation worse. — Javier Blas We Were Promised Flying Cars When I was growing up, science fiction told me that, by the year 2022, we would have space hotels and flying cars. Instead, the year’s biggest technological advance is [legs](: Remember, Meta has spent billions on the metaverse, to produce legs. To be fair, it has also produced a $1,499 VR headset, which Meta seems to expect people will wear at work, in order to see the legs. But neither legs nor outrageously priced VR headsets will [encourage more people to join the metaverse](, writes Parmy Olson. Mark Zuckerberg’s multibillion-dollar punt on Second Life, But Worse is still not paying off. If you want to feel more optimistic about the state of technology, Thomas Black writes about the millions being invested in [flying vehicles to deliver cargo](. It’s a far cry from the billions being spent on important stuff like virtual legs, and you personally won’t be able to fly in them, but at least your Amazon packages will. Who needs space hotels? Telltale Charts Israel’s profound political dysfunction [doesn’t seem to be bothering its economy much]( at all, writes Matthew Winkler. A focus on innovation and climate might be a decent recipe for resilience to all kinds of malarkey. Believe it or not, [median job tenure hasn’t changed much]( over the decades, writes Justin Fox. The Great Resignation continues to be not so Great. Further Reading The US must balance [reining in Covid spending]( with protecting the vulnerable and preparing for future outbreaks. — Bloomberg’s editorial board Looking for [Vladimir Putin’s red lines]( is futile. He has almost never bothered to draw or defend them. — Leonid Bershidsky [Xi Jinping’s long stretch in power]( is leading to complacency and errors, setting the stage for a crisis. — Matthew Brooker Truss’s aversion to nanny-statism]( is unhelpful in an energy crisis. — Therese Raphael [L’Affaire NYU Chemistry Prof]( shows we’re bad at evaluating both students and professors. — Faye Flam It’s OK to carefully [dip into your 401(k) savings]( sometimes when you need cash. — Alexis Leondis ICYMI Putin threatened [all of the energy infrastructure](. [Alex Jones was ordered]( to pay $955 million to Sandy Hook families. [Apple’s unionized store]( employees won’t get new perks. For Twitter, [nothing good can come]( of Elon Musk buying it. Kickers Area gamer tries to duplicate the [universe in Minecraft](. Many computer glitches [begin in outer space](. Startup [turns tomatoes into water]( for California. How Brian Eno created “[Ambient 1: Music for Airports](.” Notes:  Please send music for airports and complaints to Mark Gongloff at mgongloff1@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Instagram](, [TikTok](, [Twitter]( and [Facebook](. Like getting this newsletter? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com]( for unlimited access to trusted, data-driven journalism and subscriber-only insights. Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. Find out more about how the Terminal delivers information and analysis that financial professionals can’t find anywhere else. [Learn more](. You received this message because you are subscribed to Bloomberg's Opinion Today newsletter. [Unsubscribe]( | [Bloomberg.com]( | [Contact Us]( [Ads Powered By Liveintent]( | [Ad Choices]( Bloomberg L.P. 731 Lexington, New York, NY, 10022