Crypto enthusiasts were warned, but did they listen? No, they did not.

Plus: Prevent famine with this one weird trick! [Bloomberg]( Follow Us [Get the newsletter]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, a tragicomedy of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - Now will crypto enthusiasts [accept some regulation](? - Fight Putin and famine by [eating less meat](. - Why Bloomberg is [doubling down on the UK](. - Though it [does have a currency problem](. The Tragicomedy of Crypto As the crypto ecosystem implodes, evaporating hundreds of billions of dollars in paper wealth, a million voices are [crying out]( in pain and terror, like such: It’s natural to sympathize with these people, many of whom poured all their money into overpriced ridiculous assets, from Dogecoin to cartoon apes, at the top of a bubble. Then again, we tried to warn them! And this was their typical response, sometimes from the very same people bemoaning their plight today: So after years of being told to “LOL, have fun staying poor,” it’s also natural to LOL now at [headlines]( like the Onion’s “Man Who Lost Everything In Crypto Just Wishes Several Thousand More People Had Warned Him,” even when this describes untold numbers of real, suffering human beings. If, as Mel Brooks [said](, tragedy is when I cut my finger and comedy is when you fall in an open manhole and die, then, well, we’re living through a golden age of comedy. Maybe there’s even some evolutionary advantage to mocking people who suffer after ignoring repeated warnings. When they weren’t telling us to stay poor, crypto enthusiasts were also obnoxiously resistant to the kind of regulation that might have spared them some of this pain. And now the scaffolding of the crypto ecosystem, from exchanges to [algorithmic stablecoins](, is predictably [crumbling like wet cardboard at the first sign of real trouble](, notes Lionel Laurent. When our tears of laughter or pain have dried, crypto will still be around, and it will still need many barn doors shut, even if most of the horses have already escaped and been turned into horse meat on the highway running next to the horse farm. This is not just for the protection of crypto investors, but possibly all investors. As Matt Levine notes, crypto doesn’t yet seem [integral enough to the financial system]( to cause another full-blown crisis, but it’s a lot closer than it was just five years ago. And a whole bunch of people, including big investors, piled in at the top. If enough people borrow real money to buy cartoon apes or whatever and have to cover margin calls, then you’ve got what looks like a real problem. And that could be a tragedy. Bonus Saving-Us-From-Ourselves Reading: The SEC seems to be [regulating SPACs out of existence](, and good riddance, honestly. — Chris Bryant Thought for Food To Vladimir Putin’s long list of crimes against humanity we must add shutting down the flow of wheat from Ukraine, raising the risk of famine in many parts of the world. Fortunately, unlike most of Putin’s other crimes, there’s something we can do to relieve the effects of this one. Gidon Eshel points out the US and Canada have vast food stockpiles that can be shared with other countries. Maybe we’ll do better with those than we did with Covid vaccines! Ha ha, ugh. But a more effective thing humanity could do is [turn livestock feed into human food]( and just eat less meat. Plant-based alternatives are more efficient, and they’ll make people healthier in the bargain. The war has also caused a fertilizer shortage, but there are ways around that, too. You just might not like all of them. We can use [animal waste](, as Amanda Little suggested yesterday. But there aren’t enough farm animals to supply all the fertilizer we need. Here’s the part you won’t like: Adam Minter suggests there is [more than enough human waste to go around](. Don’t believe me? Just use Facebook! Ha ha, ugh. In fact, before people invented artificial fertilizer, they routinely used their own waste. And now we have fancy modern ways to keep out the grody diseases. Bon appetit! Further Saving-the-World Reading: Multinationals shouldn’t greenwash by [abandoning big projects to dirtier competitors]( in emerging markets. — Mihir Sharma Say Hello to Bloomberg UK Brexit continues to be one of history’s worst self-owns by an entire nation, complicating the free flow of goods and labor between the UK and its biggest trading partners just before an inflation-stoking pandemic and war. And yet the [UK still has limitless potential]( as one of the world’s most influential and stable democracies, writes Bloomberg LP founder Mike Bloomberg, who is doubling down on the company’s media coverage there. Editor in chief John Micklethwait has all the [details on the launch of Bloomberg UK](, which will heavily feature many local Bloomberg Opinion stars. One of those will be Matthew Brooker, who shares his bittersweet emotions on returning to home [after 30 years in Hong Kong](. But the latter locale is moving in the wrong direction these days. There’s more hope for the UK. Telltale Charts Of course, Britain will first have to deal with the aforementioned inflation problem. As John Authers notes, the [sterling’s recent flirtation with dollar parity]( isn’t helping matters. [Software-as-a-service firms could be the jewels]( left behind in the tech-stock meltdown, writes Trung Phan. Further Reading President Joe [Biden shouldn’t cancel Title 42]( until he figures out a plan for handling a surge of asylum seekers. — Bloomberg’s editorial board The [Fed should embrace more aggressive rate increases]( to fight inflation. — Bloomberg’s editorial board The [FDIC would be misguided and self-defeating]( to crimp midsized banks’ ability to merge. — Thomas Hoenig and Sheila Bair A [mild recession won’t be so bad]( and will help us avoid a worse one in the future. — Allison Schrager US politicians love hating on OPEC, but [the world would be an even bigger mess]( if it were gone. — Javier Blas Republicans will [force more babies to be born into poverty]( but deny them the support they need to thrive. — Julianna Goldman One million American Covid deaths later, [people still don’t understand Covid](. — Faye Flam ICYMI Finland’s leaders [want to join NATO](. Elon [Musk wants more Twitter funding]( to dump his margin loan. PlayStation’s president made [poor choices in a company-wide abortion email](. Corporate [return-to-office plans are failing](. Kickers [Alien doorway or Martian]( rock formation? (h/t Ellen Kominers) Beyonce may [be recession-proof](. (h/t Jessica Karl) Here’s the [first photo of Sagittarius A](, the massive black hole at the center of the galaxy. Scientists may have [designed the perfect chocolate](. Notes: Please send chocolate and complaints to Mark Gongloff at mgongloff1@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Instagram](, [TikTok](, [Twitter]( and [Facebook](. Like getting this newsletter? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com]( for unlimited access to trusted, data-driven journalism and subscriber-only insights. Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. Find out more about how the Terminal delivers information and analysis that financial professionals can’t find anywhere else. [Learn more](. 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