You're imagining things: Not everything is bad

Plus: Elon Musk isn't on Twitter's board [Bloomberg]( Follow Us [Get the newsletter]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, a quasi-ambassador of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - Don’t listen to the [doomsayers](. - [Elon’s done]( with Twitter’s board. - Never had Covid? [Read this](. - [Calorie counts]( might be pointless. Doomsletter In his 100th column for Bloomberg Opinion, Jared Dillian opined about a newfangled concept he calls [“macro doom,”]( where investment researchers pride themselves on predicting economic calamity. He writes: There have only been four major bear markets in the last 100 years. We know perfectly well why the market crashes, but we have no idea why it doesn’t. Doom sells newsletters, though, which is probably why I’m not selling many newsletters these days. I’m the one saying that everything’s going to be just fine. To be honest, bearish arguments are always more compelling than bullish ones because they sound smarter. Doom sells! What a concept. A look at your inbox probably confirms this. In 2022, we’re knee-deep in doom: a global pandemic, a gut-wrenching war, historic inflation. Adrian Wooldridge confirms that we’re in a [“relentlessly dismal” period](. But at what point does the macro doom become dull? John Authers writes that [Ukraine Fatigue is setting in](, following an eerily similar pattern to that of Covid-19 Fatigue. The media/markets doom show is just that — a facade. Sooner or later, people get tired of reading headlines about nuclear bombs, whether the threat is imminent or not. And markets mimic this fatigue: “After a very brief spike in concern, the upward surge in bond yields continued unabated, while global stocks are now up more than 2% since the eve of the invasion,” John says. Gina Martin Adams even goes so far to predict that [earnings season will be a smashing success for stocks](. Whether that pans out, pontificating about sentiment levels will soon become a matter outside human control. According to Tyler Cowen, [a bot will probably be writing and reading this email]( in a few years. I can’t wait until 2035 when I’m in an audience presentation where we seriously discuss the merits of engaging with our bot audience, which makes up 82% of our readership. Bring on the doom, baby. Too Many Rules for Elon Hopefully you don’t have Elon Musk Fatigue because, well, here we go. The world's richest person hates to be boring, which is exactly why Musk isn’t joining Twitter’s board. Over the weekend, the Tesla CEO came to the realization that there would be no sexist innuendos or Hitler comparisons in the boardroom, just regular-old debates over lukewarm Keurig coffee about whether quote-tweets are “good for shareholder value.” If Elon had joined the board, he couldn’t snag more than 14.9% of the stock, and where’s the fun in that? Now, Matt Levine explains, he can just [threaten to become Twitter’s overlord]( whenever he pleases, which sounds much more up his alley. But Parmy Olson [calls a bluff on the hostile bid rumors](, because history shows that Elon’s not into buying companies — he prefers to start them instead. It’s worth noting that Elon Musk is an anomaly in social media. Most of the time when you're rich, famous and semi-important, you don’t have time to manage your own social media accounts. So [you hire a team of people]( to post things on your behalf. That is likely why Twitter’s most popular users — Barack Obama, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry — don’t tweet all that much, [a fact that Musk pointed out]( recently. So if you don’t want to hire a team to post for you, you have to choose which platform you want to spend your time on. [Musk]( has obviously opted for Twitter. Since the start of the year, he’s tweeted at an average rate of [8.69 tweets per day]( (a number I’m sure he’d love to tweet). Tim Culpan suggests that Elon should harness his habit for good by becoming [a quasi-ambassador for Twitter](, which would entail not only making product suggestions, but also defending the platform and expanding its influence. If anyone is going to get Justin Bieber and Barack Obama to join a Twitter Space, it might as well be the richest man on the planet. Bonus Elon Reading: With or without a board seat, [Musk has secured Twitter](. — Liam Denning Covid Never-Havers Some people reading this newsletter have never had Covid. If that’s you, congrats! You’re a medical mystery. In a recent challenge trial, scientists shoved Covid directly into the noses of people who hadn’t been previously infected or vaccinated, and [nearly half of them never got infected](. And it’s not just one study that’s raising eyebrows: Two years into the pandemic, around half the U.S. population hasn’t had a documented infection. “There’s something more than just being careful and vaccinated that’s separating those who are getting infected and re-infected from those who remain Covid-free,” Faye Flam notes. It’d be a pretty big deal if half of the world was naturally resistant to Covid-19, but Faye has her doubts. Telltale Charts Chances are, you underestimate how much food you eat on a daily basis. In England, they’re trying to rectify the situation by having restaurants share calorie counts. Therese Raphael writes that [it’s a good-faith effort that probably won’t be a cure-all for obesity](. Just look at the U.S. — we’ve known since 2018 that the Double Quarter Pounder with cheese has 740 calories, and that hasn’t stopped us from ordering it! Decentralized finance has strayed far from its utopian origins. Backdoors and kill switches have given way to a small group of players with a seemingly limitless amount of power. [An unlikely savior of DeFi's original north star might be central banks](, as convoluted as that may sound, writes Andy Mukherjee. In order to get the financial metaverse out of the doghouse, central banks should prepare to execute their crypto projects on public blockchains. Further Reading Did the Saudis really [give Jared Kushner $2 billion](? Yes. Was it because he’s a good investor? Ha, ha, nope. — Timothy L. O'Brien After round one of the French election, [Emmanuel Macron clings to a slim lead](. — Lionel Laurent The Supreme Court’s conservatives are setting a bad example by [making decisions without hearing arguments](. — Noah Feldman If you can afford to [repay your student loans](, you’d be wise to fork over the money. — Alexis Leondis The best investing strategy during our dark inflationary days is [getting harder to pin down](. — Matthew Brooker 401(k) plans are a fluke that largely favor the wealthy. [The U.S. needs a simpler approach]( to retirement. — Bloomberg’s editorial board Narendra Modi must realize that [the fate of India’s technology sector]( is in America’s hands. — Tim Culpan Japan is coming out of the pandemic [a Covid champion](. — Gearoid Reidy Jamie Dimon is stirring the payment pot with an [online-only banking venture](. — Paul J. Davies In the midst of record-high criminal firearm fatalities, Philadelphia teens want [guns taken off the streets](. — Francis Wilkinson ICYMI Philadelphia is going to reinstate [its indoor mask mandate](, just weeks after lifting it. The [Etsy Strike]( begins. 39 million Americans are about to encounter [this historic series of storms](. There are now only [three Kmart stores in the U.S.]( Kickers If you happen to find [some art in a dumpster](, just take it. [Magic mushrooms]( might help treat depression. Happy [International “Louie Louie” Day]( to those who celebrate. (h/t Mike Smedley) Notes:  Please send non-magical mushrooms and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Instagram](, [TikTok](, [Twitter]( and [Facebook](. Like Bloomberg Opinion Today? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com and get much, much more](. 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