Britain just delivered a crushing blow to the press

This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, a rare breed of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. Sign up here.Today’s Agenda Journalists should be worried. Mi [Bloomberg]( Follow Us [Get the newsletter]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, a rare breed of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - [Journalists](should be worried. - [MichiganÂ](is No. 1. - [Shoppers]( are still shopping. - [Private equity]( pays … a lot. A Bad Day for Press Freedom Imagine this: It’s 2037. Charming fraudsters like Elizabeth Holmes, Billy McFarland and Anna Sorokin roam free. Their run-ins with the law have been completely erased from Twitter and Google. On a Theranos earnings call, Holmes gushes over her team’s newest project: propagating a rare breed of Arctic hares that can naturally administer cryotherapy in less than ten minutes. McFarland’s Fyre Festival is a distant relic of the physical world. Now he reigns over the metaverse music scene alongside Martin Shkreli, where nautical Bored Apes headline their upcoming yacht rock festival: “ApeS**t.” The price of admission is your soul (or that Wu Tang Clan album). The Anna Delvey Foundation is now a DAO that operates the world’s first-ever museum in the clouds (actual clouds, not “the cloud”). Exhibits are only visible at a cruising altitude of 38,000 feet, and passengers are required to ingest 5–10 mg of Ethiopian mushroom powder before boarding (it’s the only way to experience Cindy Sherman’s mastery, Anna says). Elon Musk raves about the exhibit on Twitter, saying it was well worth the entry fee of 90,000 Shiba Inus (actual dogs, not coins). This chilling dystopia is of course a fiction. But if these schemers had gone unchecked by the press, then perhaps this vision of the future wouldn’t be far from reality at all. In the U.K., at least, [journalism is headed in this grim direction](, warns Bloomberg Editor-in-Chief John Micklethwait, after that country’s highest court ruled in favor of ZXC, a​​ senior executive Bloomberg reported was under criminal investigation in 2016. The court decided his encounter with the law should have been kept on the down-low. Micklethwait writes the decision “is something that should frighten every decent journalist in Britain — as well as anybody who cares about justice, the conduct of capitalism or freedom of speech.” [Read the whole thing](. Bonus Dystopian-ish Reading: Mark Zuckerberg is now a full-blown metaverse evangelist, requesting that everyone under his digital dominion address one another as “metamates.” Come for the laughs, stay for Mark Gongloff’s [impeccable “Moby-Dick” analogy](. Whitmer Winner, Whitmer Winner Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer has sure had a weird couple of years. First, she’s had to deal with the whole pandemic thing, just like the rest of us. But also in that time span, she: - Was continuously berated by former President Donald Trump. - Was the target of an entire kidnapping. No biggie! - Now presides over a state economy that improved the most in its history since the pandemic began. Excuse me! She … what?! Sure, the state she governs is far from perfect. [See this from today](. But while most Americans spent the pandemic scarfing down soggy bowls of Cap'n Crunch and hem-hawing about “Tiger King,” she straight-up managed to turn Michigan into the state economy to beat. “Whitmer's first year in the governor's mansion marked the beginning of the biggest manufacturing boom since the recovery from the 2008 recession,” writes Matthew A. Winkler, [who brings the receipts to prove it](. Stress Shopping I made this meme about three months ago, but somehow it still works?? We’re still talking about [Pete Davidson](. We’re still talking about [inflation](. And in the midst of it all, our credit card bills are somehow longer than [Julia Fox’s Fench-tipped acrylic nails](. Robert Burgess writes that “when the going gets tough in the U.S.,[the tough go shopping](,” as evidenced by retail sales surging 3.8% in January, the most in 10 months. If you’ve watched [Euphoria]( for more than 10 minutes, then you understand buying nice things and cosplaying as the lead actress in “Oklahoma” are proven coping mechanisms. But America’s retail-therapy addiction has been fueled by extra liquidity during the pandemic. The same could be said for markets — [and that’s drying up now](, warns John Authers. I guess we’d better squeeze in all of our shopping in now, [before it’s too late](. Those [exposed-thong pants]( aren’t going to buy themselves, honey! Bonus Inflation Reading: - I hate to say it, but I’m starting to [get worried about the D-word](. — Karl Smith - [Steady bond-fund outflows]( could cause mayhem for markets and the Fed. — Eric Balchunas Telltale Charts Private equity had an enviable 2021, to say the least. On average, staff members at the big firms — Blackstone, Apollo, Ares, Carlyle and KKR — [were paid just shy of $2 million](, writes Paul J. Davies, trouncing their counterparts at big banks. But there are some caveats. [When it comes to volatility, energy and tech]( stocks have done a “[Freaky Friday](” with each other in the past 20 years, writes Liam Denning. It’s not a healthy development for the energy sector. Further Reading Schools should [shorten summer vacation]( to keep kids from falling further behind. — Bloomberg’s editorial board Say it out loud: “[Prince Andrew is a mangy stag](.” But will culling him save the rest of the royal family’s herd? — Adrian Wooldridge [Biden should stay as far away from baseball](’s labor problems as humanly possible. — Jonathan Bernstein Think the Olympics are pretty meh this year? [600 million Chinese viewers say otherwise](. — Adam Minter Germany’s [“Putinversteher,” or “Putin understanders,”]( are just the start of why the country is failing to lead Europe. — Max Hastings [The winner of the Ukraine crisis]( is definitively not Ukraine. — Leonid Bershidsky ICYMI Charlie Munger compares [crypto to a venereal disease](. It sure looks like [Melania Trump sold her NFT to herself](. Chinese nationalism is dethroning [Nike and Adidas](. Kickers Everything you ever needed to know about [Zambonis](. New York City is now using [microphones to ticket loud cars](. Exercise [helps your brain feel better](, a study has shown. Claims of innovation’s death are premature. Exhibit A: [insulated pants that can carry up to 3 lbs of cheese](. (h/t Mike Nizza). Notes:  Please send cheese pants and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Instagram](, [TikTok](, [Twitter]( and [Facebook](. Like Bloomberg Opinion Today? [Subscribe to Bloomberg All Access and get much, much more](. You’ll receive our unmatched global news coverage and two in-depth daily newsletters, The Bloomberg Open and The Bloomberg Close. Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. Find out more about how the Terminal delivers information and analysis that financial professionals can’t find anywhere else. [Learn more](. You received this message because you are subscribed to Bloomberg's Bloomberg Opinion Today newsletter. [Unsubscribe]( | [Bloomberg.com]( | [Contact Us]( [Ads Powered By Liveintent]( | [Ad Choices]( Bloomberg L.P. 731 Lexington, New York, NY, 10022