Iran didn’t hit its target — this time

Plus: Trump's criminal trial, the Boston Marathon and more. [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, an unbelievable battle of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - [Iran’s attack]( on Israel was a fail. - Finance bros are looking [less frail](. - Some of us prefer [podcasts]( over email. - Trump faces the [slim prospect]( of jail. A Failed Attempt Napoleon Bonaparte got up to some [weird stuff]( back in his day. He allegedly [hated cats]( and had an irrational fear of [open doors](. And he would deliberately spill food on women’s dresses if he didn’t approve of their [outfit choices](. But the French emperor wasn’t without his merits. After all, he gave us the famous quote, “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake,” which Marc Champion [says]( is “as good advice today as it was then.” Consider [what happened]( on Saturday, when Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei attempted to toss more than 300 drones and ballistic missiles at Israel. The key word there is attempt: Israeli and US forces, with help from the UK, France, Jordan and some other [Arab neighbors](, shot down an estimated 99% of Iran’s incoming projectiles, most of them before they reached Israeli airspace. The operation was a major blunder by all accounts — and an opportunity for Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to change the narrative. “Rather than reinforcing Israel’s isolation, the attack illustrated how strong its alliances remain despite anger over its conduct of the war against Hamas in Gaza,” Bloomberg’s editorial board [writes](. But [the next time]( might not be so easy, James Stavridis [warns](. “It takes sophisticated integration of all elements in the ‘kill chain’ working together to shoot down even a single ballistic missile, cruise missile or drone,” he writes. Although the coalition’s plan to stop Iran worked perfectly, “one night’s fine result is no guarantee of future success,” especially when the enemy’s technology — from hypersonic cruise missiles to AI drone swarms — is improving. If Israel and the US want to maintain their edge in defense, they must consider incorporating high-energy lasers, satellites and cyberwar capabilities into their arsenal. Napoleon’s wartime maxims may still hold up, but his tactics are long out of date. Bonus Middle East Reading: - As Iran and Israel prepare to keep taking [an eye for an eye](, Biden must ensure the whole region won’t end up blind. — Andreas Kluth - Markets and the world need Israel and Iran to [break the cycle]( of vengeance. The blueprint lies in Greek tragedy. — John Authers - The Middle East has [now transitioned]( to a perilously unstable disequilibrium involving many parties. — Mohamed A. El-Erian Finance Bros [Get Ripped]( When runners crossed the finish line today at the 128th edition of the Boston Marathon, they received a [participation medal]( that looked a little different from years past. Below the floating unicorn head — the race’s [symbol]( — sits the undeniably tacky logo of Bank of America. Adam Minter [says]( athletes are [understandably upset]( about the decision: “Who wants to celebrate a Boston Marathon finish by hanging a financial services advertisement around their neck?” Perhaps the only appropriate answer to that question is people who... work in financial services? Although I do not possess data on how many of the 30,000 runners in the marathon do business on Wall Street, I imagine some of them must. And if this Chris Bryant [column]( is any indication, the center of the Venn diagram between gym rats and finance bros is growing larger by the day: “People who spend their working lives trying to manage risk in return for long-term financial gain often fail to apply those lessons to their own health,” Chris writes. But more and more individuals seem to be waking up to the idea that exercise can provide profound rewards. Over a Zoom with Goldman banker Graham Ambrose, Chris learned that “recently it’s been very difficult to find a free squat rack in the Goldman gym.” Amazingly, today we found out that the bank’s profit [soared by 28%]( in the first quarter, defying analyst expectations of a drop. Coincidence? Perhaps. But all those early-morning barbell squats couldn’t have hurt. Read [the whole thing]( for free. The [Cool Colleague]( Effect Whenever I venture out into the real world and people learn that I work at Bloomberg, one of the first questions I get is, “Do you know Matt Levine?” When I say, “Uhh, yeah! I sit, like, four feet away from him at the office,” the vibe instantly changes. I am no longer just Jessica. I am Jessica, Who Knows Matt Levine. All of a sudden, a total stranger is speaking to me as if we have a shared love language of M&A. They show me pictures of their deal toys. They tell me about the private equity whatevermabob they just finished working on. They whisper, “What’s he really like?” which is my cue to redirect the conversation. But now, I can side-step that entire inquisition and tell the vest-wearing [Money Stuff]( stan, “Actually, Matt has [a new podcast]( out with Katie Greifeld and you can check it out on your podcast platform of choice!” And I’m genuinely serious about that: I listened to [the first episode]( and cannot recommend it enough. In 34 minutes, Katie and Matt zig-zag their way through a bunch of topics, from [the Mango guy]( who ran an illegal DeFi trading scheme, to [Destiny](, the hot new fund for private stock buffs. There’s a palpable excitement to their banter and they even manage to squeeze in a dramatic reading of the opening scene of Matt’s AI-generated Cormac McCarthy-influenced finance novel! 10/10, no notes. All in all, it feels like you’re sitting with them on the living room floor at an after-school playdate on a Friday, eating grilled cheeses and gossiping about corporate finance. So yeah: I may know Matt Levine, but now [you can too](, sort of. Telltale Charts The other day, Elon Musk sent around a little memo to Tesla employees about the “next phase of growth.” Which, really, is just a nice way of saying the electric vehicle maker plans to slash its workforce by more than one-in-ten, totaling over 14,000 jobs. But even with those layoffs, Liam Denning [argues]( (free read) that Tesla will need a new low-cost model to revamp its lineup and get business back on track. In today’s edition of Wait! That’s Actually Good News, we have Justin Fox, who [tells us](that the number of burglaries in the US fell 9.8% last year. Why this is happening? Justin says it probably has to do with home-security improvements, work from home trends, the declining resale value of electronics or some combination of the three. But I have another theory: Maybe humans have just become [too lazy]( to steal someone else’s 65” Samsung TV. Big if true! Telltale … Poem? Are we surprised that Donald Trump made [a fool]( out of himself at a rally in Pennsylvania? No. But his [cryptic word salad]( about the “unbelievable battle” of Gettysburg was so unintelligible that an English professor on X turned it into [a poem](. He’s no [Rupi Kaur](, but there’s something so satisfying about seeing his ramblings all lined and metered like this: Not one to take his own advice, the former president reportedly spent today [sleeping through]( his personal [uphill battle]( in room 1530 of the Manhattan Criminal Court. The historic [fraud case](, involving doctored business records and hush money payments to two former lovers, [looms large]( on his campaign trail. “The unknown, for Trump and the country, is how independent and moderate voters in a handful of swing states will feel about the trial come November,” Tim O’Brien [writes]( (free read). Bonus Trump Reads: - No matter how many lies he spins about a stolen election, [Trump is not the president](, nor is he its leader in exile. — Patricia Lopez - Trump’s [ongoing fascination]( with Hitler is an ominous echo of the 1930s. — Max Hastings Further Reading There’s [a $1.7 trillion difference]( between the credit women need and what they can get. — Melinda French Gates China, Russia and Iran are trying to revive [the age of empires](. — Hal Brands Only South Africa’s wealthy [can afford solar power]( and avoid electricity blackouts. — Lara Williams Millionaires heading to the Mediterranean in superyachts will need to watch out for [the war zone](. — Rachel Sanderson A [China EV trade war]( would be an own goal for European carmakers. — David Fickling India’s voters aren’t [as concerned]( about “democratic backsliding” as the liberal elite is. — Mihir Sharma Taiwan’s [struggles with energy]( forced the hand of its central bank. — Tim Culpan and Daniel Moss ICYMI Trump Media shares take [the plunge](. NASA [asks for help]( with its Mars sample. The widest-ever global [coral crisis]( is coming. Rust armorer [got 18 months]( in prison. [Cybertruck troubles]( are mounting. Kickers Happy [WNBA draft]( to all those celebrating. Beware of [the Babybel]( in your washer. Cheetos wants you to use your [other hand](. [Davis Clarke]( did the [unthinkable]( today. Crab spiders [collaborate]( to camouflage. Notes: Please send unlaundered Babybel cheese and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads](, [TikTok](, [Twitter](, [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. Follow Us Like getting this newsletter? [Subscribe to Bloomberg.com]( for unlimited access to trusted, data-driven journalism and subscriber-only insights. Before it’s here, it’s on the Bloomberg Terminal. Find out more about how the Terminal delivers information and analysis that financial professionals can’t find anywhere else. [Learn more](. Want to sponsor this newsletter? 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