Elon Musk and the dancing robot person

[Bloomberg]( Today’s top tech news: - A California judged ruled that [a new gig economy law is unconstitutional]( - The U.K. will [extend its antitrust review]( of the Nvidia-Arm deal - Facebook will [offer loans to Indian small businesses]( of as little as $6,720 Don’t do the robot At [Tesla Inc.’s artificial intelligence showcase last week](, Elon Musk brought up some top engineers, who spent 78 minutes intricately detailing how their self-driving vehicle technology calculates road-surface geometry, predicts object movements, identifies traffic signs and barriers and will harness all that data to train its autonomous system with the help of proprietary chips. Then Musk welcomed a performer onstage [dressed like a robot](, who bounced and shimmied to electronic dance music. The audience was confused, until Musk revealed what the Tron: Legacy-esque interpretive dance was supposed to represent: Tesla is making a robot. The Tesla Bot, which only exists as a design plan and a person wearing spandex, will be a humanoid capable of lifting heavy boxes and picking out groceries, Musk said. The sharp turn in Musk’s presentation was a wince into the future, and a throwback to the past. Musk is known to show off “products” before they’re ready for primetime, but with such scant details and a vexingly slapdash demonstration, the Tesla Bot bordered on self-parody. The gimmick also distracted from an otherwise impressive exhibition of real-world auto technology endeavors, which could have earned much-needed headlines when the company is [under regulatory scrutiny]( over the capabilities of its cars. Musk has always relied on sci-fi marketing to upsell shareholders and customers on Tesla’s future. A string of high-profile [vehicle demos were followed by long delays]( before they reached mass production. Musk’s [Solar Roof prototype]( was not functional when he first revealed it in 2016, and [Tesla is still struggling]( years later to live up to the features he outlined in that initial announcement. Musk’s battery-swapping prototype has [failed to come to fruition](, and his [Cybertruck model barely survived Tesla’s 2019 demo](. But there’s long been a sense that he and his team, eventually, can deliver on his fantastical promises, a sort of fake-it-‘til-you-make-it approach to product development. Between his awe-inspiring rocket launches at Space Exploration Technologies Corp. and Tesla enduring “[production hell](” with the Model 3, Musk has gained credibility by proving the haters wrong and, in many cases, fulfilling his once-seemingly impossible visions of tomorrow. The difference with the Tesla Bot is that Musk didn’t share much of any vision for the device. It almost sounded [like a Shingy pitch](. Musk said it should be able to perform “boring, repetitive and dangerous” tasks for humans without having to be given “line-by-line instructions.” Beyond that, nil. Musk said he wasn’t sure whether the Tesla Bot needed five fingers or just two and a thumb. He didn’t say whether the machine will try to replicate human emotions but that he supposes it could be your “buddy.” And when asked about humanoid economics, Musk said, “Well, I guess you’ll just have to see.” Musk can somehow still win praise even with a robot he acknowledged was vaporware. “[The future is here](,” USA Today wrote. Not everyone was won over, of course. Wired described the event as a mere [recruiting pitch](. The [Verge called it]( a “joke” and an “empty promise.” And much of the audience’s questions focused on Tesla’s AI strides, rather than the dancing android-actor. Which raises the question of why Musk felt the need to introduce a bogus product when he apparently already had real engineering to tout. The first hour of the event was devoted to the fascinating complexity of Tesla’s machine learning and camera detection feats, demonstrating, for example, how the Autopilot system can recognize traffic cones or navigate tight streets with oncoming traffic or perform in bad weather. At one point, as a model of the Tesla Bot stood blankly in the background like an Armani mannequin, Musk even talked about the challenge of a vehicle computer recognizing a pedestrian wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with a stop sign. Would the car stop because of the passerby’s safety? Or because it thinks there is a stop sign ahead? That question was far more interesting than the robot, which, in his words, “doesn’t work.” A prototype might be ready next year. “We need a minute,” he said. Until then, hopefully Tesla will focus on the parts of its product portfolio that actually exist. —[Austin Carr](mailto:acarr54@bloomberg.net) in Los Angeles If you read one thing Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes is ready for her day in court. Prosecutors will have a strong case, but her powerful legal team can employ an array of defenses, including arguing that [the only thing she was guilty of was optimism](. Sponsored Content American Express Business offers a line of Cards packed with features, like 24/7 Support, Flexible Payment Options, and more to help take your business further — because with needs like yours, you need a Card built for business. Terms apply. Learn more at: [AmericanExpress.com/Businesscards](. American Express What else you need to know A man argued that an artificial intelligence should earn credit on patents for contributions to inventions. [South Africa and Australia agreed](. 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