Chipotle’s CEO will bring some spice to Starbucks

Brian Niccol is trading chicken al pastor for PSLs. [Bloomberg]( This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, a dramatic shake-up of Bloomberg Opinion’s opinions. [Sign up here](. Today’s Agenda - Starbucks has [a new CEO](. - Musk is Trump’s [favorite bro](. - Inflation’s [going up]( Oh no. - Luxury [unwinds]( real slow. Boss Move Starbucks [stole]( Chipotle’s CEO! And just in time for him to witness the completion of its [metamorphosis]( from coffee shop to milkshake counter: At the start of next month, Brian Niccol is trading chicken al pastor for PSLs — that’s pumpkin spice lattes, for the uninitiated — and Andrea Felsted [says]( he’s “a perfect fit” to fix the fractured Frappuccino company. He replaces Laxman Narasimhan, who held onto the CEO title for almost a year and a half. “This isn’t a case where a dramatic shake-up is needed to deliver value to Starbucks investors,” she writes. “It’s about doing lots of small things better.” I’d say he’s off to a good start: His appointment alone [generated]( $30 billion in market value for the coffee chain. One might say Niccol is THE original Chipotle Boy. When he took over the burrito chain in 2018, it was little more than a gateway for the bubonic plague. (OK, that’s an exaggeration, but more than 1,000 people did get food poisoning.) In the years since, he’s transformed the fast casual dining outpost, adding dedicated lanes for online orders while improving the company culture. Most recently, he [steered]( Chipotle out of a [PR nightmare]( after customers started “[review-bombing]( the chain over the [inconsistent]( portion sizes in its burrito bowls. “But Starbucks is altogether more challenging,” Andrea writes. “He will need to push through the change that the world-famous coffee chain desperately needs while also balancing the demands of activist investor Elliott Management.” As [we know]( Starbucks is facing a lot of problems. Its [bathrooms]( often have longer lines than the order counter, and the drinks are [sickly sweet]( and [seasonally confused](. Meanwhile, patrons spent the first half of the year boycotting the chain for its stance on the [conflict in Israel]( as well as its [union policies](. Plus, there’s Howard Schultz — the querulous founder of Starbucks — to deal with. Beth Kowitt [has previously said]( he’s the “underminer-in-chief,” but his official title is “chairman emeritus.” But Niccol, unlike his predecessor, now holds the first half of that title, too. “That Niccol is joining as chairman as well as CEO should strengthen his hand with Schultz and other board members,” Andrea writes. “He’ll need that authority to dismantle the unrealistic targets Schultz put in place, avoiding one of Narasimhan’s key mistakes.” All signs point to him getting the job done. So long as he doesn’t [shrink]( the [portion sizes]( Not Very Demure. Not Very Mindful. TikTok [memes]( are “very demure” and “very mindful” this week. And by that, I mean creators are using Joolie Lebron’s [now-viral soundbite]( where she says: “You see how I did my makeup for work? Very demure. Very mindful.” But you know who’s *not* very demure? Donald J. Trump. Think about it: He types in [ALL-CAPS](. He puts [his name]( on everything. He obsesses over the size of his [crowds](. And his [shoulder pads]( are as inflated as [his ego]( During a lengthy chat with Elon Musk last night on X, Trump’s “trademark rambles” were on full display, Tim O’Brien [writes](. All told, the former president clocked [over 20 lies]( “as he opined on immigration, foreign affairs, crime, the economy, climate change, law enforcement, his political opponents, his grudges and other weighty topics, while providing few concrete or actionable policy positions.” And the policy positions he does have aren’t very mindful, either. Consider the economy. If elected, Trump could undo decades of Federal Reserve independence, spook markets and do untold damage on the economy. “In 2018 and 2019, Trump torpedoed the modern convention that presidents stay mum on monetary policy. He directly attacked Fed Chair Jerome Powell — his own pick for the job — and openly lobbied for lower rates in a series of high-profile interviews and Twitter posts. Now, he wants to go further and reopen the debate about White House influence on the Fed’s rate-setting committee,” Jonathan Levin [says]( calling the idea “one of the worst economic proposals ever floated by a major-party presidential candidate.” There’s nothing demure about that. Telltale Charts Speaking of monetary policy: “[July US]( and [UK consumer price inflation]( this week are both expected to tick up,” [writes]( Marcus Ashworth, who notes that the higher numbers might end up “muddling carefully crafted central bank messaging that restrictive monetary policy is coming to an end.” It’s no secret that inflation still matters a lot, John Authers [argues](. But Marcus says “central bankers no longer want to be held hostage by every piece of price data when they need to get on with cutting interest rates.” The solution? Don’t rely on the numbers so much! During the market meltdown last Monday, there was [a tweet]( that read, “Cool stock market portfolio babe, Chanel bags don’t lose 20K overnight.” Which: Yes! That’s true. Shuli Ren [says]( “Chanel’s classic handbags have been well-loved by fashionistas, in part because of their resale value.” And Chanel knows this: Over eight years, it doubled the cost of its [medium classic flap bag]( from $4,900 to $10,800. Hermes, too, benefits from the resale factor. “But they need to be careful with inventory management,” Shuli argues. “Past steady annual price increases have already drawn in one-way bets, not unlike how the Bank of Japan’s yield curve control attracted macro tourists to the yen carry trade. When the game of musical chairs stops — as markets feared in a rout early last week following a hike in interest rates — the unwinding can be very ugly.” Further Reading The H-1B lottery is [too easily gamed]( but it can be fixed. — Bloomberg’s editorial board Hedge funds are [taking money]( from each other. — Matt Levine An AI-based [investing miracle]( won’t save pension funds. — Aaron Brown Susan Wojcicki [quietly challenged]( Silicon Valley. — Beth Kowitt China’s [internet ID]( leaves the Communist Party flying blind. — Minxin Pei Ukraine’s allies should [lift restrictions]( on its use of weapons against Russia. — Marc Champion ICYMI The DOJ is [considering]( a Google breakup. Deadly [baby goods]( are all over Shein and Temu. Waymo cars [are arguing]( with each other. A24 found its [Anthony Bourdain](. Kickers Say a prayer for [Colin Jost’s toes](. A minion [dying on a cross]( you say? The perfect [sponge holder]( does not exi—. A [runaway tortoise]( racked up some miles. (h/t Andrea Felsted) Sure, I’d chug a [hot fudge sundae](. (h/t Christine Vanden Byllaardt) Notes: Please send sparkling [Van Leeuwen]( and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net. [Sign up here]( and follow us on [Threads]( [TikTok]( [Twitter]( [Instagram]( and [Facebook](. Follow Us Stay updated by saving our new email address Our email address is changing, which means you’ll be receiving this newsletter from noreply@news.bloomberg.com. 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