shallow, self-absorbed, & vain

{NAME}, I’ve never been so angry at 7am. But I guess there’s a first time for everything. (Before I go any further, let me start by saying this message isn’t about skin care. It’s a personal thing — and while I could really use your ear, no hard feelings if you want to click away now.) Alright, here’s what’s going on… Yesterday, I got an interview request about the huge plastic surgery spike we’re seeing in LA right now... And as it turns out, the actors' strike is the reason behind it. (Yep, seriously.) See, with all this extra time on their hands, many of Hollywood’s A-listers are getting the more invasive surgeries they usually wouldn’t have time for… And it makes sense! This is the perfect opportunity for them to go under the knife and heal discreetly. We’re seeing this big time at our Beverly Hills clinic, so of course, I agreed to do the interview. But then, I got the prep questions. Now most are pretty straightforward, but there’s one that has me fuming: “It seems many celebrities want to HIDE the fact they’ve had plastic surgery. Why do you think there’s such a stigma in wanting to look younger?” UGH! Now let me be clear — I’m not mad at the reporter. She's totally RIGHT… I’m ticked because this stigma really DOES exist, and it’s the ultimate catch 22! On one hand, we live in a world where there’s constant pressure to look young and beautiful. We’re subjected to this expectation from an early age through magazines, movies, and social media. (I’m looking at you — beauty filters!) But on the other hand… If people admit to trying to meet these impossible standards — be it through cosmetic surgery, Botox, veneers, high quality skincare, or heck — even by dressing a certain way… They face backlash for being “shallow,” “self-absorbed,” or “vain.” While this “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” deal exists for everyone, it’s especially true for women… Many of whom are expected to devote their lives to caring for others… Yet are often made to feel ashamed when investing in themselves. I see this play out at the clinic alllll the time. (I’ve even had clients back out of appointments they were looking forward to for months — sometimes even for reconstructive procedures — because someone made them feel guilty for doing something so “superficial.”) It’s frustrating to say the least… Not just for celebrities, but for every woman who’s ever heard something like: “You’re a mom now, do you really need to worry about how you look?” “Why are you wearing all that makeup? You should just grow old gracefully.” Or even, “You really spent all that money on (insert beauty treatment here)?” Maybe you’re one of these women, {NAME}... And let me be the first to say: There’s no “age limit” to wanting to feel your best. Period. Still, I know it’s not that simple. So, I’m wondering: Have you ever been caught in this catch 22? In other words… Have you ever found yourself wanting to make a change for YOU — but were worried you’d be judged for it? Maybe you got all dolled up for a night out, just to hear someone snicker that you were “trying too hard”... Or maybe you thought about getting some minor injections done, and were called “shallow” for even considering it… Or, perhaps the change had nothing to do with how you wanted to look — but who you wanted to be. Maybe you decided to return to the workforce after years of caring for others… or get back into the dating scene… And were met with doubt from loved ones. I know it’s a little personal, but if you have time, I’d really love to hear your story. Then, if it’s okay with you, I’ll share some of the messages with the rest of the BHMD family. I hope I’m not overstepping… but I think this is REALLY important to discuss, even if it’s uncomfortable or not totally politically correct. (And frankly, I don’t think men ask these questions often enough.) Of course, I’ve felt caught in this catch 22 before too. All men have… but I believe the pressure on women is different… So, {NAME}, I’m all ears. Simply hit the “reply’ button… And me about a time you felt judged for wanting to make a positive change — whether it had to do with your appearance or something else. I believe hearing your stories will help me make sense of this deeply troubling issue… Because as the father of a beautiful little girl — and someone who treats women every day at my clinic — I want to understand it as best I can. Sincerely, John Layke P.S. I realize this is a very personal topic, but any insight you feel like sharing would be greatly appreciated. Ultimately, what I’m most curious to know is: have negative voices ever tried to stop you from making a change… And how did you navigate that situation? Please feel free to share as much or as little as you’re comfortable with when you hit ‘reply.’ Like I said, I’m just trying to learn as much as I can right now, so getting an honest female perspective will really help me out. Oh, and by the way — I decided not to do the interview with that reporter… Because sending out THIS message was much more important to me.      This email was sent to {EMAIL} by jlayke@beverlyhills-md.com [Edit Profile]( | [Manage Subscriptions]( | [VIP Discounts]( | [Join Text Club]( | [Subscribe](  8391 Beverly Blvd., #471, Los Angeles, CA 90048   [Report Spam](  These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. 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