How not to flirt with cold emails?

Since I’m shamelessly shilling the Jon Buchan cold email templates for another few hours anyway… I rolled up my righteous sleeve, reached into my big crank file of cringe-worthy cold pitch emails, and pulled out another couple examples of how NOT to do them. Here's one that just rolled in this morning: === Tired of verbose, fluffy, and ineffective copy that doesn't lead to sales, Ben? [elBENBO: WHY YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I AM KINDA TIRED OF VERBOSE, FLUFFY, AND INEFFECTIVE COPY...] We had the same problem. The solution? We've developed a network of copywriters who focus more on sales conversion, and less on fluffy writing. [elBENBO: DO THEY ALSO USE fapGPT TO WRITE THEM, TOO?] Small business owners like you rely on our proven network for quality copy when it matters most. Have you optimized your webpages? What about your blog posts, video scripts [elBENBO: WHEN YOU HAVE MY BODY, YOU DON'T NEED A SCRIPT] , sales funnels or product descriptions? We would be happy to introduce you to a writer from our network to discuss how optimizing your webpages, or updating your product descriptions, could help increase revenue productivity. [elBENBO: SEND NOODS FIRST, SO I CAN SEE WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE] Is there a day and time that works best for you to meet one of our proven experts? I look forward to hearing from you, === Here's another one. This time from some chick named "Emily": === Hey Ben, [elBENBO: HEY, BABY] You seem to be authoritative when it comes to email marketing. [elBENBO: BYTCHES LOVE AUTHORITY] I'm curious, what tool are you using for email list verification? [elBENBO: DOES THIS LINE USUALLY WORK ON GUYS WITH AUTHORITY?] Best, EJ === All right, enough of this tomfoolery. The 50% discount on Jon’s templates is going bye-bye soon (tonight, 11/10 at midnight EST), depending on when you see this. It also comes with a laundry list of bonuses, too. Including one on how to use LinkedIn using his wiles to potentially add hundreds, if not thousands, of relevant new subscribers to your list. If you want it, tap my affiliate link below and give it some love: [https∶//www.EmailPlayers.com/cold]( Ben Settle P.S. In addition to the Linkedin Bonus, you also get these bonuses too: * Charming DMs — for Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok and anywhere else you can send direct messages to help you get sales calls booked… show free samples of work (e.g. If you’re a copywriter)… Get the attention from highly influential people you admire… Nab response from “dream clients” with the aim of working with them… Invite yourself onto relevant podcasts… Grab the attention of journalists to write a story about you or publish your content… Follow up messages to send if you don’t get a reply from your initial message, and more. * Magic Cold Email Training — which runs through one of Jon’s most successful cold email templates line by line. * Jon’s personal swipe file of website copy, emails, guerrilla marketing, direct mail campaigns, pr campaigns and content marketing * Content Marketing Strategy Guide — about creating content that thinks and plays big to get featured by huge publications such as Entrepreneur.com, Inc.com, Yahoo Business, Time Magazine, The Independent and many more. * How To Be Somewhat Funny — 51-page guide shows you how to write more entertaining copy, providing you with joke formulas, rhetorical devices, and writing exercises. * Promote Yourself Playbook mini training session — video that runs through 10 quick and easy tactics to generate leads immediately. * Jon’s new "Agency Sales" eBook and Cheat Sheet — where he provides prescriptive recommendations on exactly what activity you should be pursuing every day to generate leads. You can grab it all today right here: [https∶//www.EmailPlayers.com/cold]( This email was sent by Ben Settle as owner of Settle, LLC. Copyright © 2023 Settle, LLC. All Rights Reserved. No part of this email may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from Settle, LLC. Click here to [unsubscribe]( Settle, LLC PO Box 1056 Gold Beach Oregon 97444 USA