How low class jackasses sucker free advice from you

Cautionary tale time. Here’s a question I once got: === Hi Ben, I have been your subscriber for a while and love reading your emails! They're always so entertaining & insightful. Before I buy email players, I have a question... === After which he asked a detailed question about how to sell in his market, etc. My first thought when I get questions from dorks like this is: “Does this low class attempt to get free help/advice really work on people?” All of which brings me to the point: There are two types of customers or would-be or wannabe customers: 1. High class 2. Low class The guy above is the low class kind. And a complete waste of time. Even if I’d fallen for his shtick and even if he’d bought (doubtful), he’d still be a complete pain in the arse customer. These are the types who buy and refund (one reason I don’t offer refunds is to turn these scallywags way from the start). They always abuse the helpdesk and nag. And they have entitlement mentalities that make a welfare junkie sitting around in a moo-moo binging on junk food all day droning on about “tRuMp!” spraying particles of food from her mouth at the TV look like model citizens. Then you have the high class kind. They are the exact polar opposite. Thank God Almighty the vast majority of my buyers are the high class ones. These types of customers are fun to deal with. They are far more likely to use/implement/benefit from/tell others about what they buy. And they also are far more likely to be repeat buyers. Yes, my plump little butterball... once they get a taste of an offer that helps them, they want more. And in many cases don’t tend to even want to buy from anyone else. All of which begs the question: How do you get high class customers and turn off the low class customers? And the answer is simple: If you want high class customers, write high class copy. If you want low class customers, write low class copy. One of the best high class copywriters I know is A-list copywriter Kim Krause Schwalm. Her copy oozes class, and repels a lot of low class customers like holding up a big silver cross dripping with holy water to a vampire. More: She not only writes high class copy, she teaches how to write it, too. Enter her new Copywriting Maximus bundle of high level training. You can read all about it at the URL below, where I made a special deal with her to give my boys & ghouls a special discounted price on it via my affiliate link below. It ain’t cheap, though. In fact, it’s downright expensive, as it should be. But, it’s discounted via my affiliate link until tomorrow Friday, 4/7 at midnight EDT. Go here for more info: [https∶//www.EmailPlayers.com/kim]( Ben Settle P.S. Buy from my affiliate link by the deadline and I’ll also ship you (at my expense, not yours) another bundle of copywriting joy I am officially calling: “Email Players: Copy Salesliloquies Vol 1” Specifically it includes: The June 2020, February 2021, June 2021, & May 2022 Email Players issues. Plus, also, the transcripts of a couple intense line-by-line sales letter analyses (for my Subscription Biz & Social Lair book offers) I did for our $499/month Profit Pirates clients. Here are a few of the things I share in this bundle of trainings: * Word-for-word the single most valuable copywriting bullet point technique I have ever used. * An extremely clever persuasion secret invented thousands of years ago (and more recently perfected for copywriting by the late, great copywriter Gene Schwartz) that can potentially “ratchet up” your sales copy response like nothing else you’ve ever tested! * A bestselling writer’s secret for writing sales copy, emails, and other advertising that is so “tight” you can practically bounce a quarter off of it! * How to master the lost art of combining content with promotion in your emails. * How to develop your own copywriting style — and avoid sounding like a wannabe of someone else. * The secret technique Jack London, Hunter S. Thompson, and Benjamin Franklin used to quickly excel at the art & craft of writing. * A brand spanking new way (I invented after watching a couple Tarantino movies) to do market research that has put me in touch with my market in a way where I could probably make sales if I wrote my pitches on a wall in crayon. * A clever trick Steve Jobs used to have his audiences literally “leaning in” to hear what he had to say. * The “O” word that is quite possibly the single most persuasive word ever invented for bullets. * An ingenious 2-word combo that can give even outrageous headlines and/or sales letter openers “built in” credibility & believability. * An old magalog trick you can use to make your bullets look like they are giving an entire tip away… where the reader thinks they are learning something free… but really it just makes them want to buy the offer even more. * An infamously kooky newspaper ad copywriter’s secret for using 1 & 2 word headlines to drive up readership & engagement with your sales copy. * 4 sneaky ways to “invalidate” your competition in your sales copy — even if they sell a better offer at a better price. * A 3-word transition sentence the late Gary Halbert used to help keep prospects reading his sales letters top to bottom. * The powerful “sentence stringing” method the late Gene Schwartz used all the time that can help even people with gnat-like attention spans reading your long form copy from headline to order form. * A verbal “twist” gurus & experts can use to stand out in markets full of other gurus & experts all competing for attention. * A secret way (invented by Aristotle over 2,000 years ago) for keeping even your most outrageous bullet point claims from being instantly rejected as typical marketing hype and empty promises. * How to make even “fantasy claims” that would ordinarily sound like complete and utter horse shyt sound completely true & legitimate in your sales copy. * How to increase your sales copy response by making it more legally compliant. * An engagement trick the brilliant late copywriter Jim Rutz used to make his copy easier to keep reading than to NOT keep reading. * 4 advanced bullet point tricks that can help drive your prospects practically insane with curiosity to get your offer. * The mysterious C-word that can potentially sell prospects on buying offers they normally wouldn’t care one iota about otherwise. * How to make “plain vanilla” features and ideas in an ad or email instantly sound dramatic & sexy. * How to make something that’s high ticket & expensive sound downright cheap by the time the prospect gets to the order form. * How to “borrow” credibility from Google and other big organizations in your niche to help sell your offers. * An old school negotiation trick you can apply to your order links that can (1) make you sound more credible (2) potentially nab your business anywhere from 2-5 times more sales than it would get otherwise and (3) sometimes even severely cut down on refunds all at the same time. * A tip (I learned straight from the single most prolific copywriter who has probably ever lived) that can let you pump out reams of pages of sales copy if you’re the easily bored & distracted type who has trouble focusing one project for long periods of time. * The big copywriting secret behind the empires created by history’s two most hated, most reviled, and most successful media tycoons. * A little-known (and almost never talked about) time management trick that can help reduce writing ad copy that normally would take hours to complete into mere minutes. (Before applying this trick it used to take 2, 3,4, even 5 times longer than it does now to write sales letters and emails, with zero reduction in quality.) * Why hardly any of the sales letters for the Email Players “pantheon” of offers & books has a story in them. * The only person on the planet I “endorse” to coach or consult on my behalf. * The secret way I use to write software offer ads that has resulted in 4xs the sales than even our most optimistic hopes when launching them. * The “application plan” sales letter secret that can potentially overwhelm people into wanting to buy from you. * A truly creepy-sounding writing trick bestselling author Stephen King uses to draw people deeper into his books - that can also be directly applied to your bullets, stories, offers, and other parts of your sales copy. * A cunning way to get more sales by urging your readers to leave your sales pitch and come back again later. * An old Hollywood producer's screenwriting trick for picking stories to develop into movies that can also work like crazy for selling offers via sales copy. * A simple bullet point template (anyone can use) that can sometimes make it all but neurologically impossible for your prospects to ignore your sales copy. * An old school MLM tactic (taught to new distributors so they are taken more seriously by friends, family, etc before "showing the the plan") that can help juice up your business’s credibility with your prospects. * A social engineering method that can help create lots of raw, almost neurotic, & completely irrational urgency to buy your offers at the close. * A little known bullet writing method that can literally help create new “neurological connections” in your prospect’s mind as they read. * A quirky memory trainer secret for making words, sentences, and even entire pages of your sales copy almost impossible to forget and far more likely to sell your offers. * How to make otherwise ordinary, “plain vanilla”, and even outright boring-sounding words & claims seem more dramatic, interesting, and sexy in your sales copy. * The bizarre reason why it’s almost always a good idea to put some kind of Biblical reference (even if selling to fire-breathing heathens) in your sales copy if you want to get as much engagement as possible. * Two sleepy little words (used by the late, great Gene Schwartz in some of his crazier ads) that can help make even your most outrageous headlines, bullets, and claims sound more believable. * An example of how to use the psychology behind why humans are so bizarrely attracted to seeing “freak show” exhibits (at circuses, in books, on TV, etc) to make your sales copy bullets more engaging and interesting. * A borderline devious (but totally ethical) way to put prospects in the “defensive crouch” right off the bat — with them finding ways to justify why they are qualified to buy, instead of you constantly proving why you should be bought from. * A powerful twist you can put on some of your bullets that can literally “light up” a prospect’s neurology — giving them almost no choice but to keep reading and wanting to buy whatever your business is selling. * How to open a prospect’s mind to at least hearing you out in your ad copy before telling them about a claim they’d otherwise find crazy, silly, stupid, or flat-out insulting to their intelligence. * A quickie way to “blunt” skepticism about one of your ad’s claims or benefits. * The single best place in your copy to put your offer’s biggest flaw, weakness, or drawback. * The strange reason why getting prospects to argue with your bullets can make them more susceptible to being influenced by your ads and buying your offers. * And lots more. Above isn’t even going into the analysis transcripts. (I’m too lazy to write more bullets — and this email is already way too long..) Bottom line: This bonus bundle of trainings I’ll ship you alone is several hundred dollars worth of value. And it’s all yours. But only if you buy Kim’s Copywriting Maximus offer with my affiliate link by the deadline. Here’s my affiliate link once again: [https∶//www.EmailPlayers.com/kim]( This email was sent by Ben Settle as owner of Settle, LLC. Copyright © 2023 Settle, LLC. All Rights Reserved. No part of this email may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from Settle, LLC. Click here to [unsubscribe]( Settle, LLC PO Box 1056 Gold Beach Oregon 97444 USA